Mom Keeps Her Teenage Daughter Beholden to a $1000 Dress Debt After She Begs to be a Bridesmaid Then Backs Out at the Last Minute

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Jesse Kessenheimer • Writer and Editor
Oct 19, 2024 10:00 PM EDT

Sometimes, you gotta teach your teenagers to learn life's lessons the hard way. 

Anyone with a 'strong-willed' teenager knows that it's tough to be a good parent to a child who's already firm in their beliefs. How do you balance gentle life lessons with the brutish door slam of an angsty teen? Although every parent wants what's best for their kid, at a certain point, taking the training wheels off of their bicycle is going to be the only way to teach them to ride through life. 

When it comes to weddings and the associated responsibilities, this teenager learned that you can't just bail on the bride just because you don't feel like being a part of things anymore. We all know that family things can be a bit complicated, but this teenage girl–a hard-headed 16-year-old with a FOMO complex–bulldozed her way into her older sister's bridal party, pestering the bride for weeks to let her be a part of the celebration in an official capacity. Although she was warned that the cost of a bridesmaid dress was $1000, their mother agreed to cover costs so that her daughters could share this memory together… That is until this bratty teenager bailed at the last minute. 

Keep scrolling to read how this stern but fair mom laid down the law and taught her teen a lesson in responsibility and the cost of being a flake. 

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  • 01
    pushed her way into the bridal party and is now backing out and a dress was purchased for her for $1,000. She can decide if it's more uncomfortable to wear a bridesmaid's dress or to pay you
    via AIMSTOCK - Getty Images Signature via Canva

    This image is for illustration only, and the subjects are models; the image does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 02
    AITA for making my daughter pay back a $1000 dress she was supposed to wear in a wedding
    via Aromatic_Agency_8653
  • 03
    I have a daughter, Emma (16F), who was supposed to be a bridesmaid in her older sister's wedding. My oldest wasn't planning to have Emma in the wedding party. It was Emma who
    via Aromatic_Agency_8653
  • 04
    really wanted to be a bridesmaid because she was excited and wanted to be involved. My oldest agreed to include her, even though it meant extra costs and adjustments.
    via Aromatic_Agency_8653
  • 05
    The bridesmaid dresses, shoes and fitting were around $1000 each, which we agreed to pay for since Emma did not have that cash. The wedding is in a month Emma suddenly changed her mind. She
    via Aromatic_Agency_8653
  • 06
    refusing to wear the dress since she thinks it is ugly, saying it is unflattering on her. It is but didn't speak up at any part She said she felt uncomfortable, wasn't
    via Aromatic_Agency_8653
  • 07
    close to the other bridesmaids, and didn't. want to participate anymore. I reminded her that she had been the one pushing to be a part of the wedding, but she was firm and backed out.
    via Aromatic_Agency_8653
  • 08
    Now, we're stuck with a $1000 dress that can't be returned. I told Emma that since she was the one who wanted to be in the wedding and then backed out, she would need to pay us back for the dress-
    via Aromatic_Agency_8653
  • 09
    either by working part-time or payment plan using her gift moeny. Emma is upset and says it's unfair, claiming we're punishing her for not wanting to do something she wasn't comfortable with anymore Multiple family members think I am too harsh.
    via Aromatic_Agency_8653
  • 10
    Edit: I didn't go to my oldest and pressure her to make Emma a bridesmaid. My oldest gave in after Emma pestered her about it. Emma has a phone. I don't even learn about the pestering until after she was added
    via Aromatic_Agency_8653
  • 11
    Silaquix NTA. The dress is the same for all the bridesmaids and Emma has only ever met the other bridesmaids while supervised so there hasn't been any bullying. The bride didn't even want Emma as a bridesmaid, this is something that Emma pushed for.
    via Silaquix
  • 12
    The fact is she's 16 and bulldozed her way into a position as a bridesmaid and now that she's realized the style of dress isn't ideal she's throwing a tantrum.
    via Silaquix
  • 13
    Frankly how she feels about the dress doesn't matter. The wedding is about the bride and the bride picked the same dress for all the bridesmaids and didn't even want Emma there. Emma pushed for this
    via Silaquix
  • 14
    so she should either it up and wear the dress or she should take responsibility for her decisions and pay back the cost of the dress. Again this is a 16yr old that bullied her way into being a
    via Silaquix
  • 15
    bridesmaid despite being warned of the cost and now she's wanting to drop out because the dress isn't ideal. She was perfectly fine spending her parents money but now that there's real consequences she's upset.
    via Silaquix
  • 16
    Triscuitmeniscus I'm a guy but I feel like if she's expecting the dress to be flattering and to her style, this is the perfect opportunity to teach her a lesson on what it's actually like to be a bridesmaid.
    via Triscuitmeniscus
  • 17
    ReviewOk929 we're punishing her for not wanting to do something she wasn't comfortable with anymore NTA - She's not being punished, she is just having to face the real world consequences of changing her mind. Making her pay back the money is the right course of action for a 16 y/o to learn from.
    via ReviewOk929
  • 18
    JerseyKeebs Not to mention that teens need to learn to do uncomfortable things! Adults have to be slightly uncomfortable sometimes, especially after making a commitment.
    via JerseyKeebs
  • 19
    Completely dropping out can have massive changes to the rest of the wedding party, depending on how things are booked and what shared expenses are planned.
    via JerseyKeebs
  • 20
    sleddingdeer Make her pay or be a bridesmaid. This probably messes up the whole bridal party because the number of groomsmen will be off. Emma is too young and immature to grasp that. I'd have a heart to heart and see if you can help her through her insecurities.
    via sleddingdeer
  • 21
    But also explain the ripple effect of her choices and that she will be made to feel it. Her behavior is on par with her stage of development, but this is where she really needs to start experiencing the impact of her choices. Saying you are
    via sleddingdeer
  • 22
    "uncomfortable" doesn't change the fact that she pushed her way into the bridal party and is now backing out and that a dress was purchased for her for $1,000. She can decide if it's more uncomfortable to wear a bridesmaid's dress or to pay you back. NTA
    via sleddingdeer

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